Are You Ready? Wedding Before Marriage

Sound the drums, roll out the red carpets, white flowing gowns, aso-ebi, guests, paparazi, dance, train of assorted colours, captivating smiles, food, drinks, cakes, gele, expensive clothes and shoes....

I can go on and on... Excitement in the atmosphere.

Wow! Couple, centre of attraction, all eyes yearn to steal glances at the couple, looking their best from head to toe. This is good, beautiful and magnificent. Who wouldn’t want to have a day, just one day to be uniquely celebrated, who? Everyone loves that day and it’s your wedding day! For some, it is honestly the best day in a person’s life. But for others, it will be, and it depends on one big question 

Are you sure you are with the person you want to spend your entire life with? Remember, you will share your emotions, secrets, the good, bad and ugly side of life with him/her. Are you prepared and ready for what lies ahead of you, after the celebrity status? A day, one showcases his/her best. I could tag it ‘A Dream Day’. Once again, are you ready?

Sadly though, the reasons for marriage are different for various individuals. Reasons like, is he/she rich, from a wealthy family? Is he/she beautiful/handsome? Am I of age, class or fame? Is my partner my parent’s choice? Are you getting married because a condition was on ground like, ‘get pregnant first and I will marry you’? Is your partner a good cook? Can she manage the home? Does your partner have charisma? Is he/she presentable? Can I pose with my partner where my friends are? How is my partner’s communication skills? Some like men and women who are fluent. How is your partner’s communication grace? Is he/she timid? The big question is facing you….. Are you ready?

Responses like, I am already past the age, I need his cash, he has my heart, these may seem like great reasons, but the question still pops…….. Are you ready?

Marriage must be discussed with caution, before wedding. But nowadays, it’s wedding before marriage. Marriage must be planned and agreed together. Unfortunately, wedding can be planned and handled by a single partner, with or without the other partner’s consent. A man or woman can singlehandedly plan a wedding effectively, without the effort of a partner……. The question again pops, Are you ready?

The fact remains that in marriage, there are lonely men and women, who would have been happier being single than when married. Remaining single, some would have preferred to be, than the title ‘Mrs’. Like these days, some ladies most especially want to compete with their folks, when they want to impress and compete. The question again, Are you ready?

More deaths due to failed expectations, more psychiatric cases are prevalent, and the list goes on and on. So again the question……Are you ready?

In this part of the world, most people sadly are single ‘zombies’ living in a shadow of themselves. Living their lives in search of that ‘special person’ who they would spend their life time with. They spend money, running from one prayer house to the other, searching for solutions. Some spend money carrying out evil assignments just to achieve. They actually forget the major point; that is yourself, turn their inborn giftings to gold, change attitude and character, make their ways right with their creator and imbibe godly ways. You need to dump this evil attribute and pretence. Be yourself and do not try to over impress. The question still pops, ‘Are you ready?’

Our parents used to say, ‘marriage isn’t for children’. Our mothers drummed into our ears, ‘you must be a good wife’, you won’t hear, ‘be a good husband’. Our parents used to sing then, ‘marriage is to be endured’, this is meticulous. Even when a woman is battered and almost close to her grave, you must endure. ‘Endurance’ one may ask, is it a baptismal name? A woman is abused, you must endure………… The question again, ‘Are you ready?'

One may ask, for the man child, are they taught and prepared to be good husbands in their homes? The girl child seems to be the focus. The society grooms and prepares a girl child adequately for marriage. Attention is on the girl; how to pamper your partner, how to sit as a woman, how to chew, dress and most especially culinary skills. The one and same question pops, Are you ready?

What financial basis and preparations have been put in place for a marriage foundation to be firm? Does the partner have a strong financial outlet that can effectively sustain the family? Or is a partner being manipulative by sitting on the fence, and surrendering lots of responsibilities to the other partner, not minding the weight the other is carrying? Either partner, would sit, fold his/her arms and just feel it’s a load for one person to carry. Are you ready? One may ask.

This effort is meant to be complementary. A woman struggles and a man also does. If R…E…A…L love is in place, you will feel each other’s pains and pulse. Love naturally brings submissiveness to bear. When a man loves, every instruction he gives is adhered to naturally, with no second thought. Ponder on this questions; Are you ready to love? Who is to be loved? Are you ready to submit? Who are you submitting to?

The answer lies in the faith you both share; do you see your partner as yourself? The pain the other goes through, do you feel same, or you get excited when things go wrong? The big question again pops, Are you ready?

I must state sincerely and categorically, you must be ready, you must not follow your instincts. Some feel they are in love, but it is actually lust. Don’t ever mistake lust for love because sooner or later, it will tell. No matter how long you hide the feeling or take shelter, it will still be revealed, whether money, beauty, fame, status is the reason for being there. The question again.